I am Holding Up

It took me quite a while to get back on my feet since the demise of my beloved father.

Everyone worries about me because I looked rather fine with the shock. I sincerely appreciate all the warmth and concern from each and every one of you. However it is just personal to me and I do not prefer expressing them in the way people expect I would.

I mourn his depart with silence and I remember him with smile.

Life has never been easy.

But I keep working on it.

I want him to be proud of me, like he always have, even after he is gone.

Getting to Somewhere

Ever came across this situation? Playing on a puzzle game trying to find the solution but it seems unsolvable. So what do you do? Keep trying? Or just leave it?

Well, I assume you are the fighter type - keep trying. So how do you work on the attempts? You use different combination, or you change the pattern. Right?

Imagine we are driving in a stranger place. We might have map and Global Positioning System (GPS) to help us with the routes but there is still possibility that we end up getting lost. So what do we do? We try different routes, or we simply ask for direction.

It is very obvious - we are not getting anywhere if we don't try, we are not getting anywhere either IF WE DON'T CHANGE OUR COURSE/METHOD (putting aside the thought of waiting for rescue to come by itself).

Solving the small problems is the fundamental of big achievements!

It is so ALIVE!!!

This is my first time in participating Blogfest, thanking the host of the festival for bringing it to Penang.

Being born an islander allows me to appreciate big picture from a very special and unique perspective - every big achievement begins with baby steps. Being a part of Blogfest 2010 gives me the honour to witness how little efforts make a long way.

Seeing this little pearl by the equator striving to shine is a big part of my life - we have been through the labour age, moving from trees to infrastructures and receiving overwhelming responds from MNC around the globe yet we still preserving the juicy heritage stories in our little Georgetown impressing the world how we make this little island as lovely as ever yet growing to meet the demand of the growth.

Since the visiting Penang Heritage Sites trip is limited to 40 pax only so my experience started with the pleasantly arranged dinner at QE-II, located at Church Street Pier (built in 1897), hosted by Ministry of Tourism of Malaysia. The place itself welcomes every participants with Penang's 2 greatest signatures - Ferry and Penang Bridge. Indulged in the evening breeze enjoying the casual dining experience has allowed me to mingle around meeting new friends - those that I'll get to know more throughout the following 2 days of the festival.


I think the most incredible thing about the night is - everyone blended in so well. I guess bloggers are special in our own way - we are familiar with words although we might not share the same language so we can easily make ourselves comfortable with topics that we each and everyone interested in.


Myself grew up in Khoo Kongsi, one of the heritage sites, when it was still open renting to tenants of different backgrounds. Back then (almost 30 years ago) we were using the very traditional kind of toilet service - all "big businesses" were collected in a big pail/bucket and will be collected by feces collector knocking every household 6 in the morning.

A lot of feelings crossed my heart when I stood in front of the statue of "TowKay Yeap Chor Ee" at the campus of Wawasan Open University. It touches me when I think about how efforts have been put in to build and make this place prosper.

The second day starts with a very interesting opening speech - once again bloggers are not boring person who can only play with words behind the screen. Representatives from different countries share their blogging experience back in their own place helping one another to understand what is happening in places outside their country and, perhaps, appreciate, blog, this piece of thought sharing platform.

Blogfest has created an opportunity to allow bloggers from countries to come to this small piece of land named after a fruit called "Pinang" witnessing not only the pride of having the recognition as one of the UNESCO World Heritage Site but also bring together great minds that share one passion - to record and express what we love and we care with our heart (well, with fingers dancing on the computer keyboard).

It means a lot in help bringing the attention of looking at the duality of all things. What does this island have to offer? It has hills (Penang Hill) and beaches, traditional hawkers and international cuisines, multi-races people that almost can speak or at least understand our local dialect (Hokkien), and most of all it shows, not only to the visitors, but also me that it possesses the gift in offering the hospitality and courtesy that everyone needs when they come to her - a great sun shinny day with cooling drizzles whenever possible.

The afternoon sessions were even more interesting when diverse topics and workshop were held and we each get to choose our own preferred subject to learn and share. I've chosen Commercial Blogging – How to get your blog noticed; Journalistic values for documenting events via your blogs; Speed Up Your Blog With Content Delivery Network (CDN). All different sessions were mind-blowing. As a result I got a very congested head and have to retire to rest early (and yes that means I am "forced" to skip the evening dinner, and MyBloggerCon Award, and PARTAY!!!!!!).  Sob sob~~~


Anyway, I am so very looking forward to the final day tomorrow whereby I am sure I will have another inspiration-blasting day with the rest of the bloggers.

What have I gained from Blogfest 2010? Many new friends and also great opportunity to attend inspiring sessions. But most of all, being proud as one of the citizen here. Special thanks to Ministry of Tourism for ushering us into this wonderful festival, Blogfest 2010 for making this remarkable experience memorable, Wawasan Open University for a very comfortable journey, and other sponsors for making this event a great success.


I am blessed to have a peaceful and beautiful home and can be a part of this.

Oh by the way, the t-shirt is cool and I love that tiny packet of dried nutmeg as well as the sling bag!

We Are Ourselves Both The Creator & Destroyer

As we continue seeking the potential future that we can ever explore, we have somehow finding a very good reason in neglecting who, or to be more precise, what we really are. Well at least it is "hope" that we are talking about and looking at, we may say.

Thanks to the advancement in multimedia and technology, movie has become more and more exciting and interesting.That we are almost able to make any projections that we have on mind into fascinating pictures, or rather movies.

For many of my friends find ideas adopted by motion picture such as Avatar a "channeled" from some place higher than human realm, I think it is rather a place in us that we keenly hoped and prayed to exist after we have seen so much cruelty we have done among one another. Deep inside us there is a place where both good and evil reside.

Seeing "SPLICE" is like asking ourselves to confront this very special place in us - it exist whether we like it or not. Of course I would say the movie isn't as interesting and beautiful as the blue creature planet because it's dark, and it has more lust and desire.

We create to destroy ourselves. How interesting is that?

Watch the movie, although I don't like it.

But I love the whole idea of it.

It is time!

I paused for a while when my friend sent me a link to blogfest.

I hesitated.

I have always loved writing but things like becoming a part of blogfest has never crossed my mind. Perhaps that is why I am still way below the line from being known as a blogger. And I thought it's always very very common to be fairly unpopular as a blogger since my topic of writing is not so much of those HOT STUFF like travel, food, cultural or parenting.

But then I ask myself, "what for I write if I don't want to reach readers?" I can always write in my personal diary instead of blogging. I must have that intention of bringing forward the idea of my writings if I am a keen blogger.

So I quickly make up my mind and participate the upcoming event, which is going to be held in Penang next week.

I should make my work public, at least to a bigger group of potential reader. After all it is the passion in writing that has helped me through the times where I felt lost and realized lessons.

So if you are one of the readers here and blog at the same time as well as being one of the participants for the BlogFest 2010, please say hi when we meet on the event! It is always nice to know we are connected in the way we like - writing.

Action

First of all, the previous post was somehow unique: I captured the picture with my mobile phone and blog it straight away, didn't realize the setting in my phone was actually heading the writing to this English blog instead of the Chinese one. So I thought just keep it here since it means something to me - when I sat in front of the statue and contemplated about the idea of Buddhism and Taoism.

Anyway, this one is about another point of ponder. Sometimes in our lives we find ourselves lost - not knowing how to go on. It could mean our direction suddenly vanishes, especially when we take the big leap in doing changes.


We first convinced ourselves that everything will be different and alright if I change my path since the one I took did not work out. Then we walk on the new journey believing things shall set straight for as long as we believe it will. Yes, sometimes it works - when "FATE" or "LUCK" does most of the work for you. Other times, it is us the reason of change - we make it right.

When making a decision our focus changes, that's why we need to adjust accordingly and that including not only our faith and mind but also our action.

ACTION is the word. We constantly need to be in the position of seeing the motion and move accordingly. It's like the fish in the stream - you either go with the flow or against the current. And that determines the destination.

And so we have gathered the courage to take a big turn, believing that we will get over the low tide. With that belief and the whole of us changed in position and operation, we will breakthrough any dilemma.

Action = Achievement

Think about it, the true meaning of the very popular Mahatma Ghandi's quote -

Be the Change You Want to See

胸怀

用道教的眼睛认识佛教,用佛教的心情思考道教.

Give it All Out

After all, it is your dream.

And it matters.

What About Marriage?

 just watched Sex and the City 2. Although it may not seem as interesting as I first saw Sex and the City, the idea of looking at marriage is my kinda interest (much more being entertained by the incredible costumes, which although not always look best on them but definitely stunning to see).

Carrie (Parker) is married for 2 years and she's joined the girls to the trip to Abu Dhabi, which she then ran into her ex, Aidan (Corbett) and had herself feeling bad after he kissed her. She confessed to Big (Noth) and (fortunately) he forgiven her.

Each of the other girls (Charlotte, Sam, and Miranda) got their own life lesson and realization during the trip too but one thing that Carrie's said at the end is very much the thing that I believe and practice,

"You have to take the tradition and decorate it your way"

Touch of Heart

Every now and then I will find myself in a place where I'm almost surrounded by emotion of being touched. I guess it just appear to me that our heart always long for something, of which I think is the feeling of belonging. And all these contentment and happy tears came to me through, sometimes words while other times, body language.

I guess that is why I find myself resonate with contemporary dance, although myself can't dance even a bit of those unexplainable movements. Our vocabularies are limited thus we continue searching for more ways to express. So often I found - one act that touches and melts our heart is always the unsaid thoughts through the caress of silent touch as the connection takes place when emotions collide.

I've attached 2 amazing piece from this year's America So You Think You Can Dance Season 7. Take a look.

The message is clear like being claimed by Isadora Duncan (May 26, 1877 - September 14, 1927) ,

"If I could tell you that, I wouldn't have to dance it."

Feeling What's Feeling Inside

I've always have this struggle in me: whether to really surrender myself to my feelings or hold myself up with what I really have and can.

Thinking has always been reasoning. It's breaking things down to particles and sort them out accordingly, which I've taken quite some years to learn and practice. Some say it (for being sensible)somehow is in my blood that's why I can resonate with that pattern. But I must confess that I have been pulling myself back and forth between being sensual and sensible because I have had several feeling attacks over the years which I end up like the broken pieces my brain's handling and it felt as if I totally lose myself.

Being cool and detach in the dimension of thinking and reasoning and mapping things out is more of a training than being fragile and vulnerable towards the dimension of true heart feelings inside that comes naturally through the veins. I am not too sure if what I am having right now after watching this video is a mixed combination of thinking and feeling but I do know one thing for sure: feeling gives me the pleasure and fear at the same time.

It's too honest.

So from time to time I allow myself to feel what I can and what I am feeling and record it with the help of words through my head. This is perhaps the best method I can find so far to let my feelings and thinking find their balance.

Do You Deserve Winning?

I watched Hell's Kitchen Season 2 on AFC yesterday. It's one of the episodes where Gordon Ramsay tests the 3 contestants, Keith, Heather, & Virginia, who's competing for the place to the top and one will be terminated by the end of the show.

Every contestant gets to nominate with his/her reason for the one to be disqualified and their decision will finally being decide by Gordon.

Sometimes we are standing at the crossroad not knowing where we will go. But often this feeling of unknowing is actually being driven by the fear of taking charge. If we are on the path of becoming a leader, we have got to be a leader - be able to lead and be able to know what must be done and DO IT!


Watch it, from minute 2.22 of this following clip and continue with the remaining two. You'll know what I mean.

I personally like this part a lot where Gordon has mentioned a few very important things:
(1) All I'm looking for right now is a leader.
(2) You got two choices: you run the team or the team runs you.
(3) A good leader, each and everyday, has to make tough decision.

It doesn't matter how well you have been and what your dreams are. What matter is how good you are now, what quality do you have and how well is your endurance through and through till you really get what you want.

Ask yourself: Why you deserve to win? Are you the old or new dog?

What I See When I See What I Am Seeing

The past Sunday wrote me a note via my work.

It reads:

There is a place that our conscious mind and knowledge cannot reach. It contains the real and true side of us and it carries its own perception towards things around us. On top of that, it knows what we are yet to know and it will only unleash when it sees you ready.

I did not know what it was trying to tell me until I look at the photos that I captured. And I am totally convinced that it constantly repeating itself to me through various ways.

And then I spend the following few days trying to understand that message.


The feeling is so strong: Something is definitely coming my way.

What do you see by the way?

Sometimes Something Just Don't Standout Until You Really Pay Attention

We were waiting for our movie to start in the cinema and watching the commercials playing. This one came into picture almost a 9 months ago and I am still impressed every time I see it replays. But I don't know why nothing beats this time that hits real hard when I hear the sentence - DREAMS BECOME REALITY.

Yes, a dream is the goal that we seek to achieve being drafted and painted in our heart and mind. We have it guiding us through our lives breaking all obstacles and defeat every challenges just to making sure we do not stop trying until we get there.

All dreams are immature fruits and only through our continuous attempts it will ripe.

Don't stop believing. Dreams are reachable!

Fatherly Love - Despicable Me

I've never been read a bedtime story when I was young. In fact, I can hardly remember the sleeps I had around my parents. I slept with grandma when I was too afraid to sleep alone, and moved to a room of my own as I returned home from my relative's for weekends or school holiday when I grew older.

Parents of mine are not the type that will hug me in their arms and tell me they love me, nor sat beside my bed to read me story and kissed me good night putting me to sleep.

It's common in traditional Asian family.

So when I saw Gru who had never tasted but willing to show the kind of love and attention I wanted, my eyes got into tears being touched by the warmth. It is fairly rare for movies to talk about fatherly love, much more from one whose ambition is to become the biggest heist but end up being penetrated by 3 little girls - Margo, Edith and Agnes.

The movie was overall ok, with the existence of a bunch of minions and he's adopted daughters. I tell you Agnes and those minions just made my day.

What is it that your mind is trying to tell you?

It is said that we have only got a small portion of our mind explored by conscious, and the remaining is all in our subconscious and dreams. While we know from the study and research report saying that our left brain controls analytical ability whereas right brain focuses on creativity, we haven't really fully understand what this central controlling mechanism - why does it functioning such a way and what is it that the brain trying to tell.

I think the evolution has come to the point where our intellectual meets our spiritual awareness. And by acknowledging we are both rational and emotional, we are becoming more aware of our current state of mind. With that we know: we are indeed a very powerful living, just not yet fully realized and awaken.

But we are getting there if we believe and try.

At least Christopher Nolan is giving me this impression and feeling, from his The Prestige, Batman Begins, Batman: The Dark Knight and the latest production Inception.

This Sci-Fi movie emphasizes how we can dig in to our mind (whether to use it the right way or not is not an issue here as 'Inception' is not a Crime movie). Assuming the different actors in the movie plays the different roles our mind is capable of, what do you think your mind is trying to tell you?

A 2.28hour thriller that is definitely taking serious viewers' breath away. And don't say I never warn you in the first place: you will never stop wanting for more once you start asking.

Is it even an issue at all whether this life is a dream or reality? After all, it's a process of the game don't you think?

I highly rate this movie because I really enjoy how Christopher Nolan actually manipulate minds!

Show Time!!!!!

Two nights ago at the rehearsal, our director talked to a group of young comers. They are the ones that will help us make our performance complete - the backstage crew. A lot of people never get it - crew is of equal importance like performer. When everyone finds the stunning feel standing under the spotlight enjoying the admiration of audience, little did people realize and notice the reason that a performance can be successful is heavily depending on the support from technical side. Imagine a play of 2 hours has only the dialogue of performers, without any music and lighting design to create the ambient.

Scary right?

The show starts tonight. All the effort and hard work by each and every involved party throughout the months will fruit today.

We hope you enjoy the story, as much as we do.

See you at the theatre!

photo taken during warm up before final rehearsal

Hand in Hand

Times flies.

Joyce did "HOPE" last year where she's brought dancers of different ages together to show how this word mean to them. Another year's quickly gone by and she is back for "HOPE 2".

It just felt very amazing when the thought shifts from HOPE to HOPE 2, like we are moving from point A to point B seeing all thing's changed except the scene. Yes both were performed at the very same venue, but by different performers except Joie and Aainaa the little girl.

Joyce said HOPE 2 is still very much on "what does hope mean to different people" but the presentation this time is very different from the last one. It has gone deeper and portrays more detail.

We all gain our strength from different sources but one thing for sure is we always hold hope in us. It is something that keeps us coming back and going on.

Although it showcases 2 shows for one day only but it has certainly mean something to the performers throughout their rehearsals with Joyce and also the audience while watching them move without any audio support.

Every baby step means the universe.

Through HOPE we see the future.



Joyce has gone back to the U.S. today. Have a safe trip and we'll see you again when you come home. Lots of hugs! Thank you for showing your love and care.

Anton Chekhov's "3 Sisters"

I am taking part in a theatre play, script by Anton Chekhov titled "Three Sisters". This script is about 100 years old yet the story is still applicable today.

So what is it about the script that live almost forever? The story about "Three Sisters" is emphasizing heavily on human's attitude and nature - we long for what we don't have, mourn what we have lost, and never in time to cherish what we have.

Life vanishes with time. Without noticing how fast we lost it, we tend to place ourselves in the pathetically wrong position, watching age and all that happening around us eat us all up.

Watched the animation "UP"? Here I excerpt a part of the movie that talks about the life we have.



By the way, my play is held at P.Ramlee Theatre Penang, from 9th-11th July. Please come!

The A-Team

Watching some remake old movie is a joy. First you get to recall the times you had before, second you get to see the difference, much more on the effects, and most of all, it is like having a cuppa coffee that make your smile crawl up your face without knowing why.

Movie like The A-Team is much more on entertainment so it is important that audience get to sit back and enjoy the show.

And I did.

Seeing all characters coming alive once again, what's more is they are given a better enhance in their personality.

Watched the movie? Please go if you have not.

Oh just FYI, the old A-Team is still in the movie business. For instance, Templeton "Faceman" Peck actually played as the Pensacola Prisoner Milt; Mad Murdock was the German Doctor in the very same movie; Baracus (by Mr. T) had his voice presented in "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"; except for Mr. Hannibal who's passed away in 1994.

The Love We Share

Gap comes in when understanding/interest does not match.

Both me and Joie are 1 year in different. We have the same passion for stage performance, we love photography, we love seeing the world, we like to go movies and we enjoy spending time leaning on one another reading books.

Although I am more active, extrovert and outspoken while he is rather a listener and towards passive when it comes to expression we see these differences in us as complements to each other. We do quarrel of course, but our focus are set on bringing out the truth and not throwing temper for emotional purposes. Conflicts allow us to learn more about what we don't know and disagreements show us the importance of finding solutions together.

As much as we walk the path together holding hands wherever we go we appreciate the love and bond we share by talking our heart out and listen passionately.

taken in Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport
while waiting for boarding to returning home

Nothing comes for free.

Gap only comes in if understanding/interest finds no way to match between the two.

Never Ever Give Up

I have always appreciate inspirations. I think it is the most amazing and incredible thing in the world because it not only allows one to contemplate but also to realizing the importance of exploring the potentials.

Although I am not a dancer myself and I haven't been trained in dance in my entire life, one of the many things that touches my heart is dance and I particularly in the connection with the genre of Contemporary Dance (and that perhaps explains why I am attracted to my husband). I couldn't explain what I see in Contemporary Dance as it isn't so much on the eye but rather towards that part right inside. To me it touches me deep down because it's filled with emotion and thinking that is always being carried out with well established techniques that expresses one truthfully.

In Season 7 of So You Think You Can Dance, Mia Michaels had to go to one of the potential top 10 finalist to deliver disappointment. This contestant did not make it this round although he'd worked very very hard to cope with the Las Vegas filtration round with his injured leg. After she's done with the announcement, she had this line delivered to him (Anthony Burrell).

"The stuff that we go through our lives, the negatives the knocks we can choose to take us down or we can choose to stand up rise up and make us even more brilliant and more beautiful."

It may seem ordinary and sound almost like every other line of inspirational quotes but to a contestant who wanted the opportunity so badly it could be the one line that keep the spirit high in order to continue fighting until victory arrives.

One of the 11 finalists (the judges have decided to make an additional room) Alexie Agdeppa was cut during the previous auditions for up to 4 seasons, and one of it was already at the doorstep to entering top20 in last season, but nothing beats her. She keep coming back until she finally got it through this round.

Nothing beats the heart that never give up.

And that is my favorite.

See It, Feel It, Live It

Sometimes we thought we know life so well until we forgot we ought to look at it carefully. We live everyday like it's endless although we know death is the only verdict. Because we don't know when is the end so we tend to use the overall average figure as a standard of consideration.

And that is where the problem is.

We presume we have at least 70 years of living. That's 25,550 days or 613,200 hours or 36,792,000 minutes or 2,207,520,000 seconds. Assuming we have spent (averagely) about 24 years on pursuing our education, we are still left with 46 years of time (assuming we live until 70), which is 16,790 days or 402,960 hours, that is quite a number of time we still have.

We take this as the basis to plan for lives, very unlikely taking in "WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT THE WAY I EXPECT IT TO BE" as one of the conditions that might probably be the cause of unpredictable turmoil to put all things to the end.

"What if there is no tomorrow?"

Living in present does not mean taking care of today only. Instead it means taking the present moment as the stepping stone of reaching the next. That brings the same meaning of "Build a big house with a blueprint and start by little bricks". We decide how we want our lives to become by drawing the blueprint of our own, set a time frame for the completion, then work on every single effort to accomplish it.

The key to setting a right and effective way to making things happen determines how successful a person can be.

That is life.

The Feeling of Longing for Home

I've been staying in different places since young age. Not that my family moved a lot, rather it's however me who'd been migrating from one place to another before I finally reach home. What makes me going around the places?

My parents didn't abandon me, I must clarify in the first place. Instead it's because of the school that they've decided to send me had put me through the living away from home. My house was in Bukit Mertajam (mainland) while I was studying on the island. They wanted me to be educated in a good school and so they have no choice but to put me away from them.

I didn't understand their intention during then and my childhood was filled with disappointment and sadness whenever I thought of myself staying alone with other relatives while my 2 younger brothers get to run into my parents' arms everyday.

My first time living away from home was very young at the age of 7 and all first grades are in the afternoon. The time I got off from school and arrived at my relative's place, instead of my home where my parents were, was when the sun's setting. It is when I have this feeling of loneliness longing for going home since then. It is always at the particular time of the day when the sun is going down and birds are flying in group returning home that gives me this feeling.

It is as if my feeling has gone back to the time when I wanted so badly to go back my own home instead of returning to a house filled with many busy relatives who all have their own life to take care of.

Although I have moved back home since my teen age and recently got married my heart still feeling that longing. Perhaps it is because we haven't got our own place yet. Having a place where heart rests and feeling resides is very important. It gives not only the sense of security and belonging but also acts as the foundation of bond and the platform of getting the achievements in life.

What Had Been Going On since...

Like being claimed by my youngest brother we hardly sit together in front of the TV and watch HBO although we subscribe that channel. The trip to Bangkok has not only got us into a wonderful family trip since many years but we get to spend some time watching HBO together.

It's a miniseries called The Pacific, which has 2 brilliant person as the Executive Producer - Steven Spieldberg and Tom Hanks.

I am not a war movie fan and I didn't really follow this miniseries but someone got my attention and we thought the movie was interesting in its own way. Anyway this someone that caught my eye was a pretty decent looking young man. He played one of the roles from the real history and I thought he seem familiar. So I went on to imdb to confirm if he's the one I thought he is and you go, let's see if you can recognize him...


I bet many can recall by now he has his look hidden somewhere in our head by probably the name is still missing because we may not have paid enough attention on the actors' names during then.

The episode I watched was part 9 and 10 so although I didn't know what was going on earlier but I get to see how they come home after 4 years serving the war and deal with the post-war-trauma as well as picking up the family life they have become unfamiliar.

Anyway, anyone who want to learn more about the movie please go on and look for it. The point here is to talk about this face.

Any clue?

Here, let me show you another picture so that you have see more clearly...

His name is Joe Mazzello (just remind me about Mozzarella though), he was the kid on played in Jurrassic Park back in 1993. Here, this picture should clear everything...

TADA!!!

Sometimes we just never realize how life slipped us through by living everyday life fulfilling every obligations we have not remembering how we wanted our lives to be until some familiar faces appear reminding us the time we see ourselves in those long forgotten dreams.

He's all grown up. Borned in 1983 he's 27 now. Can picture how time flies?

So what had been going on in your life since then? Is there anything you need to put your feet back on the ground and start figuring out how to make your dreams happen again?

By the way, there is never a win in war. And, watch this miniseries.

A journey down to confronting life's events

A trip to JiuZhaiGou is arranged since end of last year. The best time to see that place is October and John had fought with others over the bandwidth to get into the everyone can fly airline's server to make that purchase. 5 of us going on backpacking waiting to explore the scenery that we have long heard. Both me and Joie are so excited about it.

But it seems thing has decided not to happen the way we thought it would be.

We learned that his brother is getting married right in the middle of our trip 2 months after everything is set. I can recall vividly it was an evening when we were driving my monther-in-law and our future sister-in-law to a relative's wedding dinner. I asked whether the date for the wedding is confirmed since we were told it'll fall in August. Kym quickly answered, "ya, it's October 23rd for the reception and 24th for the ceremony".

"But I thought you both said it'd be in August?" I said. "Oh no, we have decided to choose October instead" she replied.

The tickets purchased on special offer have no way to change date except paying much more than buying new tickets. The only way is to change the wedding date, for as long as there is restaurant to accommodate the guests for reception.

Time flies, nothing fruitful has come about yet.

Everyone thinks the same: it's just a trip, you can always go other time. Unlike getting married, it's once a lifetime thing.

Little did they even know: it is a backpack trip which means all members go as a team. We can't simply back off from everyone else being such a irresponsible person.

So what outcome is awaiting ahead?

I wonder..........

All We Want is the Truth

I was with the waiting of the result of SIBU by-election last night. And while waiting I surfed the net watching what others have to say about their expectation and hope in this event. I must show my heartiest appreciation to the convenience of modern technology which enables people to access to information and most of all, the sources of information.

There are times we got blocked from accessing certain information that some authority may not want us to know so that we are kept ignorance from the truth. With the sufficient flow of information, we should always equip ourselves with one thing: detachment. Because we need to be able to see the big picture as well as the details of things so that we can be more rational in thinking and also be more mature in analyzing. Most importantly, it is our rights to know.

Whether it is politic or other perspectives one thing that really matter is we ought to learn to become independent and develop an all-round-consideration-power to elevate our comprehensive understanding ability.

With that intention in mind, I hereby present you this video clip:-

First Love & Last Love

I just read from a posting on my friend's Facebook wall, which says "Our first love and last love is self love".

Her comment about this statement is "self love?"

I asked her, "Why? You doubt?"

I came across another statement quite some time ago whereby a very good friend said, "One who wishes to love others must love him/herself first. You just can't give away all the love without doing that to yourself."

Another friend of mine once said, "if you ask a little girl 'who's prettier, you or me?' she'll mostly end up patting her own chest saying 'I am' and that sort of honesty comes from the untaught self love".

So what's the love that we see in ourselves?

There is a silver lining between self love and selfish. But having the capability to love ourselves is a nature that we have without being taught. We somehow grow up learning how to share this love with people around us and sometimes we end up giving too much to others than ourselves because of our desire to receive attention in return. But most importantly is this love is something we always carry in us help making who we become.

So by understanding that love is something we appreciate as a gift not only to people but also to ourselves, we found that beauty in each and every person that is vital to create loving life - everyone is loved.

It may sound a little abstract but the simplest and direct way of saying self love is: are you seeing yourself in others? Do you see others in you too?

Freezes time

No one can ever do this, I mean freezing time.

Although much of the intentions are focusing on making some particular special moments to stay without fading (mostly happy times) but none of these idealistic idea has ever succeed in doing so. That makes taking photographs a very useful way of keeping such memory.

Ever since I got a camera of my own, I have found out that the seconds we go through everyday are as precious than any valuable jewelries in the world. Every little split seconds that we spent on doing something or even nothing is not repeating itself anymore and whether we have used it doing anything or nothing is considered done already.

To me, of course I cannot really capture every single second with my camera but I have learned to become more appreciative with the happenings around me. Not to say immersing myself into the moments like an addict but to really see the beauty of it's existence even if it seems meaningless.

caption: 25 years they've been standing there silently
giving all the supports that countless travelers need to get from and to mainland.

The Wisdom of Cracking Jokes

Sometimes even having that sense of humor isn't working and I learn the lesson about cracking a joke - it takes, definitely, more than the joke itself and the intention of it (despite the sense of humor that I just mentioned).

Sometimes the air runs thin and people starts to feel a little uneasy about the topic of discussion so someone would usually break the situation with some little lame and cheap joke. It has no special intention but to shift that tension away.

Sometimes they work if people just laugh their way out from the seriousness. Other times, it frozen the air even more. Especially when that stupid joke was not being taken as a joke but an embarrassment, or it's inappropriateness to exist.

So I realize chain reaction is a good point of ponder. One leads to another and everything will be totally different should a break takes it's place right.

The problem is: we just never know what is going to be right, either the timing or the topic, for the joke. I took the initiative, and it ended up badly.

Well, what can I say? What's more important than the motive of easing the air? Wisdom, perhaps, which I need.

Being an Editor

I love to write. People who know me know that. But little did I realize I have been an editor for Lifeworks' newsletter for almost a year now. Isn't that awesome? Although the newsletter doesn't need much of my writing, but I get to write to numerous reader every month in a very short paragraph of words talking about mine and the centre's idea that come together to the people. It is like having an obligation of making my heartfelt feeling visible and hopefully creating an impact, positive one, on those who are connected.

I believe there lives a teacher, a good one in terms of attitude and discipline, in everyone's heart. This teacher teaches us and through our thoughts, words, actions and responses we help cultivate that morale among one another.

While others might probably using melodies to convey their message, I seek the organization of words to spread the spirit of speaking the heart. Through the responsibility I hold I learn to make my words reading-friendly, and easier to digest. In Mandarin there is a saying about good writing, it is called Shen Ru Jian Chu (深入簡出). It means a good writing must be easy to understand but thought provoking.

Here are a few samples which I have done over the months.

Let me know your comment after seeing them.

(1) Lifeworks Newsletter April Issue
(2) Lifeworks Newsletter March Issue

The Shutter Island in Everyone of Us

We go through life as it is a series of events. We encounter different incidents along the way and only god knows how they have impacted us from one stage to another.

These ups and downs have sometimes being decided to stay by our brain without our awareness. We then carry it's weight over our shoulder as we carry on walking the following road, and also bear it's existence living in our heart for a long time.

Sometimes it grows and sometimes it fades, other times it may be recalled and reminded to step up to surface again replaying the images before our eyes to pull that trigger of feelings.

How can we deal with it?

Shadow grows when light dims. For we cannot surrender ourselves to darkness and consumed by shadow, let it fall behind us and walk on gracefully. For although it would still be following us but let it remain a part that has been put to sleep. It may be reawaken but it will be harmless if we do not practice forced detachment.

Embrace every part, even it is pain. Just don't dwell with it, that's all.

The One Person We Can Count On

There is a very popular video showing a special someone who we can really depend on.

I like this video a lot as it gives me goose bumps every time I see it. I like the idea of it. I like the motive behind it. And I like the presentation and also the effect it creates.

I am not kidding.

So who is this special someone that actually create such impact? Follow the steps and you will see and understand why I cheer for this effort. Picture this really become real. Feel the tingling inside your chest. Feel the passion burning inside your soul and start making that big ambition come true.

There are 2 copies for me, which each carries different impact.
(1) The Hero ver. 1
(2) The Hero ver. 2

THE HERO

(for the real link, click on the above)

Positivity

Sometimes to break life down to the simplest term is to see it from the very plain and pure perspective - to look at (only)one thing at a time.

That is how wisdom happen.

We read from the philosophers, we listened to people's experience and realization, we watched others got up and out from challenges, and we apply all that we have gathered in our action to make it ours.

How are these lessons be relevant to us if we have never stood in the situations?

Thus mistakes are merely an opportunity to make things right and downfalls are meant to make us rise and shine.

All through the different obstacles that I have had before got me one message straight in my face and to my heart & mind - you never know what you can do until you are challenged.

Pay close attention to these whispers, they are everywhere assisting.

What makes us stronger are the challenges we face,
the obstacles we overcome, and the achievements we make.
A positive attitude can create remarkable remarks.
Use your mind, your body and your soul to create, achieve and live your goals...

Back to the Root

Life is full of experience, whether it impacts people positively or negatively (well the positive and negative here is referring to the direct impact only, not attitude or perception wise).

For instance, we see something irritating (which it could mean nothing at all to others) and of course the immediate feeling is IRRITATED. So I assume this irritation is something we usually classified as negative. Now most of us see this irritation, without looking into the reason of it happening. Our awareness, yes it happened, until what we are impacted directly, and not down to the understanding of it taking place.

Yes, people might probably say, "how tiring it is if we'd to look into the depth of everything. (And some may say) By knowing what happen and how to react with grace is good enough."

Is it good enough?

It is, if you are looking at the immediately layer beneath that surface. It isn't, if you are realizing there's a whole lot more to be taken into consideration besides the scenario itself.

When we see trouble, the immediate responds we would have is either: avoid it; or delay it; or solve it; or study, understand and resolve it.

What is our common practice towards trouble? I bet we hardly stretch ourselves to reaching "study, understand and resolve". The best is usually until "solve it".

Let us imagine there is a tree right in front of us. Seeing from afar, we see the overall appearance - trunk, branches and leaves. Closer as we move towards it, we see the color of respective parts of the tree. By standing by it, we see the skin of the trunk, the way the branches and leaves grow and things that might be attaching to it. When we put our hands against it, we feel the texture, and as we climb the tree we understand how the branches and leaves grow. We know about the health condition of such tree without cutting it down to examine (by observing the symptoms we can collect from its leaves, branches and trunk) or even knowing the growth of its roots without digging it out from the soil (by digging only the soil by the tree to observe whether it is a single or fibrous root tree and how it get to the source of water and nutrients).

Besides all the things we can see with our eyes, what about "where, how, when, why" it comes?

There is a reason for everything.

Pause, and think about it.

Archangel Michael

Yesterday I used a deck of Oracle Cards to seek guidance about the matter regarding buying a house. Apparently we have seen some place that we really like but it seems difficult for us to own. Yes, I'd say "it seems" because we haven't really contacted the bank or anything but by just looking at the price itself.

Everyone knows buying a house is a long-term commitment.

And then my dad came to say that "it's too far", "it'd be very difficult if you want to resell/or even the resell value isn't high" etc so everything just added up to become a big pressure over our shoulders.

Well honestly we both know it is a bit far from town and I don't particularly enjoy the travel so much either especially we have to do that day in day out. But we just can't fight the feeling that we have when we stood there at the place and felt the surrounding.

Of course we want that for ourselves but we're draw back in the fear of not being able to support and the head is trying to reason things out by saying "settle for something more practical".

So I headed for advice and I got Archangel Michael saying, "THIS POWERFUL ARCHANGEL IS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. HE GIVES YOU COURAGE AND HELPS RELEASE YOU FROM THE EFFECTS OF FEAR."

I thought it's merely some encouragement. So I went on to online deck this morning and found Him again. This time he said, "Rapid change is often unsettling and can be stressful, but only because it seems to be too rapid and therefore threatening. Remember that you have agreed on the higher level to be part of the change, and that the changes are to bring in Light, Love, Joy and Abundance.

Operate from your Heart rather than your head. If there is fear, then it is coming from your head. Stay grounded and open, and be practical. If you are in the flow of Divine Creative energy, then you cannot fail.

Archangel Michael is making his presence know to you. Remember that you are Safe and Protected at all times, and that all is in Divine Order at all times! If you trust Divine Order, and not your old habits, you will be fine! God and the angels will help you stay true to yourself during trying times."

We believe in connection - the intuitive feeling that tells the most truthful word without overburden thoughts. If that's what good for us, please help us to get there.

Cracking Knuckles

It's been countless years since I first cracked my knuckles. I could only recall it's something I picked up from my aunt when I was sharing the same roof with my relatives during my primary school days.

It hurts at first, but the pain goes away after a few attempts and it has since then slowly become a habit to me. So I carry this habit with me all through these years although I tried quite a number of attempts to quit but not successful.

I have had some knuckle pains on and off over the years after I put too much pressure onto cracking those knuckles that sometimes seemed a little difficult to pop but nothing serious ever happened so far (as the pain usually gone after resting for a few days). Until 2 months ago, I somehow put too much force on cracking until the pain stay until today.

It's only one particular finger, the pointing finger, that has this problem. And Little did I realize the action that I accidentally pressed my finger against the car steering as I turned the direction has actually worsened the pain and now I can't even hold me fist tight.

I've read that cracking knuckles shouldn't be causing anything serious like this.
(1) Does Cracking Knuckles Create Permanent Damage?
(2) What Actually Happens when You Crack Your Knuckles?
(3) Why Knuckles Crack and Joints Creak?

However, I found this and it seems to make sense to me, especially the third and forth point:-
Although several studies have shown that knuckle cracking does not lead to arthritis, what you are doing when you crack your knuckles is basically the same thing as dislocating your shoulder, pulling the bones and cartilage apart to release a gas (called synovial fluid, made mostly of carbon dioxide and some nitrogen) that makes the popping sound. People who have continued to crack their knuckles for very long periods of time have developed symptoms that include:

• Reduced hand strength, probably the most common effect.
• Swollen or painful hands.
• Soft tissue damage to the joint capsule(s).
• Damage to the hand's ligaments, the soft tissues that connect our bones.

What can I do to fix this?

The True Nature of Things

Years ago I was told by a good friend of mine the words given by venerable JiXing and honestly these words has become a part of me since then - To cultivate the ability to see and understand the true nature of things.

In Chinese text there is a saying, “参禅之初，看山是山，看水是水；禅有悟时，看山不是山，看水不是水；禅中彻悟，看山仍然山，看水仍然是水，但山更绿，水更清。”

It means "a mountain is a mountain and water is water at the beginning stage of meditation; a mountain is not a mountain and water is not water when meditation bears some fruits; and mountain remains a mountain and water remains water when it reaches realizing the real meaning of meditation, except the mountain is greener and the water is clearer".

What is the true nature of things?

What do you see?

What is that word.........ahh, contemplation, it is!

I like to think.

Much more on understanding to the best I can, I like to see things from as many perspectives as possible.

Realizing the more angles are saying more than a single dimension, it is a joy to know that every single layer of things has it's incomparable beauty. And seeing all these different possibilities come together to create a even greater picture touches me.

Breaking thing down to the simplest while still respecting the complexity allows maturity to grow as wisdom found the way to meet us.

When it comes to relationship

We all know relationship is built on the foundation of love.

Love conquers all.

Because love has many members in it so that the people involved can rise above failure, I particularly resonate with acceptance, communication and trust, which I call it "ACT".

Yes, it means apart from having these in heart, it must be carried out in action too.

A relationship involves two individual that carries different qualities, thus acceptance is utterly important. We are not dealing with perfect person, so we have to deal with problems. While problem itself merely mean as the sign of improvement, what cause problem to go out of hand is the level of acceptance - the lower it is the worse the problem become. I am not talking about "taking all in without any awareness and effort of correction" but rather to accept disagreement happens for the sake of building mutual understanding.

After all we choose and being chosen to spend time(life) together, so in order to go through all odds together we must first accept this person in - as in individually and together to build this bond - to be able to think independently but taking both parties into one account, in all circumstance.

To be able to do that, one must willing to change, the way one think, act and react.

Because compromising two different standing points needs tolerance, without acceptance it is very difficult to achieve. Some chooses avoidance either simply compromise without discussing or walk away from it and pretend it's never there.

To speak is important. Not for the sake of speaking but letting the partner know what you really think. It is the key to enter another person's heart when talking the heart out is being practiced. It is a recognition that the partner(and you too) need so that both can find the same tune.

Communication allows two hearts to come by. It not only specifically stating what is on one's mind but also invite more options to come into discussion. As we know data produces information, the input of both parties help result in better understanding.

When acceptance and communication are in place, only trust can happen. Because trust is the strong support to a relationship thus it must be treated with respect. Trusting the partner is a significant appreciation of relationship because it brings two souls to come together and bond them to become one.

A relationship is an ever growing thing, it means we need to perform maintenance in order to keep it growing better.

It means relationship is something we need to learn and earn, with our effort.

Are You a Trasnformational Leader?

I was writing my blog yesterday and as I browsed the net for a photo to go along with my topic I found this one:

Are You a Transformational Leader?
(click to read more)

It says there are 4 components to transformational leadership, sometimes referred to as the 4 I’s:

Idealized Influence (II) – the leader serves as an ideal role model for followers; the leader “walks the talk,” and is admired for this.

Inspirational Motivation (IM) – Transformational leaders have the ability to inspire and motivate followers. Combined these first two I’s are what constitute the transformational leader’s charisma.

Individualized Consideration (IC) – Transformational leaders demonstrate genuine concern for the needs and feelings of followers. This personal attention to each follower is a key element in bringing out their very best efforts.

Intellectual Stimulation (IS) – the leader challenges followers to be innovative and creative. A common misunderstanding is that transformational leaders are “soft,” but the truth is that they constantly challenge followers to higher levels of performance.

The joy of reading is I always feel happy knowing more about things. Knowledge serves us with rationality and room for improvements, and it always makes us adjust ourselves so that we constantly renewing the food we feed our brain.

As I was having a discussion about Allspire with Joie and John, this article really comes in the right time.

Much more I believe challenges is the cause of improvements, I think the key to becoming better is the right attitude and action. While knowledge help us find the road, we are the machine to decide how we want to make it happen.

I am looking forward to becoming the marketing personnel, only when the readiness is there.

Standing at the Right Spot

Where do you usually stand when it comes to taking group photograph? You know when a group of people standing together where some will usually standing in the front middle while others are more comfortable standing at the corner or down behind everyone.

The spot one chooses defines this particular person's character and it says too about who you really are.

Answer this question without second thought and find out:

QUESTION:
When taking group photograph,
(1) I tend to stand looking in front of the camera and let others to come in from both sides and/or behind.
(2) I let others take their ideal spot and join in the corner later when everyone else is ready.
(3) I prefer standing behind everyone, far away from the spot light.
(4) I am pretty fine with anything. I am comfortable with any spot depending on different circumstances.

Which is your preference? The choice you make reflects your personality, specifically in people relation, whether you are the spontaneous or otherwise.

If your answer is:
(A) You are relatively subjective and like to be the center of attention. You would love to be the topic of talk and you are good in grabbing opportunity and making friends with people around. However being overly strong headed can be disturbing and cause yourself troubles.

(B) You are rather friendly and hardly speak up. You are a easy-going person but sometimes can be a little out of personality.

(C) You can be stubborn although you not necessarily like to stand out from others. You have your own style and you don't like to compromise, neither being influenced by others.

(D) You are wise enough to play almost every role when it is needed. Your high flexibility and assertiveness allows you to be a great candidate of fair EQ and IQ.

Do you know where you stand?

To Know The Role

Just went for 2 extreme type of movie for the past 2 days but I have found 1 similarity - the different method in pursuing one's goal.

Whether or not to get people's approval, it all depends on what kind of role we are playing. Some task allows us to carry out our job even without people's approval, other times it is very much affected by others if we can achieve our goal.

If one has the force, he shall find the way.

Wax on, Wax off sound bite From Paris with Love sound bites

Or

In Memoriam

We lost many people every year. Some we knew in our life, others we looked up to. Of all the losses, we see people being remembered not being who others expected them to be but who they really were, although with flaws.

The prints they left behind, however, remain in our hearts, even long after they are gone...

In memoriam...

In My Life
(song by: The Beatles performed by: James Taylor on the 82nd Oscar)

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

Follow Dream, Everything is Possible

The 82nd Annual Academy Awards has given me a rather big inspiration - a well applauded movie of the year might have captivated many audience's heart but that doesn't make it a guaranteed award winning movie. And although it didn't win big time, it didn't fail to touch people's heart and inspire them to open their heart to accept.

The first female director has made history today when James Cameron (Titanic and Avatar's Director) ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow has won the title of The Best Director of the year.

A flip book of Pete Docter's math book has brought him to the little statue to receive The Best Motion Picture [UP]. And The Best Original Score winner Michael Giacchino said, "When I was... I was nine and I asked my dad, "Can I have your movie camera? That old, wind-up 8 millimeter camera that was in your drawer?" And he goes, "Sure, take it." And I took it and I started making movies with it and I started being as creative as I could, and never once in my life did my parents ever say, "What you're doing is a waste of time." Never. And I grew up, I had teachers, I had colleagues, I had people that I worked with all through my life who always told me what you're doing is not a waste of time. So that was normal to me that it was OK to do that. I know there are kids out there that don't have that support system so if you're out there and you're listening, listen to me: If you want to be creative, get out there and do it. It's not a waste of time. Do it. OK?"

What really matter is - Dream can come true, don't stop pursuing it!

Auspicious Year

Can't remember how many years ago I realized FATE is somehow merely a good motivation to remind us: MAKE GOOD USE OF THE LIFE YOU HAVE WITHOUT ANY EXCUSE.

Why would I say so? Because I somehow realize it is the ATTITUDE that makes all the difference in so called GOOD and/or BAD luck.

I have gathered quite a number of forecasts done by different masters over the years and realize: whenever there is a good star shinning upon one, there are always other bad stars accompanying. Likewise, whenever the luck seem to be dimmed by too many negative stars, there's always some good one stood by.

So, what so great about having good luck when one isn't working hard and what about bad luck when one strives his/her every best to deal with things?

Down the road we know, it is common to have humps and holes here and there, and without delaying our effort we will reach smooth highway to help bring us where we aim. The speed of getting things done may vary but nothing is going to stop one become successful if the spirit and will are there to hold on till victory is achieved!

Luck is just like the life cycle - they come and go - whether good or bad.

So be real and stick up to perseverance, it is a good year!!!!!! YEEHA!