Friday, November 20, 2009
I wasn't expecting anything.
It was yesterday morning, when I saw a movie titled "Front of the Class".
While I was talking about effort in my previous post, I realize this movie has given me more message, much like a intended and purposely arranged advice.
I will keep the talking to my next post. Mean time, take a little time to watch this movie.
Front of the Class - Part 1
Front of the Class - Part 2
Front of the Class - Part 3
Front of the Class - Part 4
Front of the Class - Part 5
Front of the Class - Part 6
Front of the Class - Part 7
Front of the Class - Part 8
Front of the Class - Part 9
Front of the Class - Part 10
Watch, and we will talk about it later.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
We went up to one of the higher grounds in Sungai Ara yesterday evening. I followed my instinct and showed Joie the direction to the spot and we walked a bit in the vicinity. It was a cozy evening and I almost could feel a gentle pat on my shoulder when I stood there with my eyes closed enjoying the breeze.
It was very comforting.
As we came down from the hill and driving back, some thoughts took place which later I found it very profoundly impacting me.
Here is a bit of the transcripted detail of it:
What was the feeling back then? Wasn't so sure about it.
Felt anything? Yes, and maybe no. Perhaps feelings would have been different if nothing was mentioned prior to that. Maybe it was just imagination. So wasn't too sure about feelings though.
Perhaps should relax and believe the feelings, as they come and go. Tried. But nothing obvious seem convincing.
From what read in the comic books about the story how a secret skill is being taught amongst the students, which of the following will be the successful person? Ones without talent and not hardworking; ones without talent and work only whenver feel like working; ones without talent but work as hard as possible; ones with talent and not hardworking; ones with talent and work only whenever feel like working; ones with talent and work as hard as possible?" Or use dancing as the example instead. Which one of the students can become a good dancer and good choreographer? It'd be one with talent and work as hard as possible, followed by one without talent but work as hard as possible.
So with or without talent, effort (including hardwork and realization) is the key.
One can master the foundation, the steps and the skills by being taught and repetitive exercise, like a ordinary responsible dancer. But one can only become the master when one allows the mind, body, and heart to seize the true spirit of one thing. That is the insight and the true nature of thing, to become a true dancer that can touch people when their spirit is endowed into the piece they do, and eventually become a good choreographer who can successfully pass on the idea to the dancers and audience.
If one's effort is being poured into the process of mastering something, how often does one need for revision? It's like we eat, drink, rest and workout, do we need to constantly doing it everyday so that we get replenish accordingly or we can simply do it only once in a while and expect it to work effectively without fail?
It is like the animals gathering food in their store for the sake of surviving the winter, we need to accumulate our effort bit by bit so that we can have it when we need it. It suddenly reminds me about the story of grasshopper and the ant that we all have heard when we were very young.
The Harvard Classics. 1909–14.
The Ant and the Grasshopper
IN a field one summer’s day a Grasshopper was hopping about, chirping and singing to its heart’s content. An Ant passed by, bearing along with great toil an ear of corn he was taking to the nest.
“I am helping to lay up food for the winter,” said the Ant, “and recommend you to do the same.”
“Why bother about winter?” said the Grasshopper; “we have got plenty of food at present.” But the Ant went on its way and continued its toil. When the winter came the Grasshopper had no food, and found itself dying of hunger, while it saw the ants distributing every day corn and grain from the stores they had collected in the summer. Then the Grasshopper knew:
“IT IS BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE DAYS OF NECESSITY.”
Monday, November 16, 2009
It is this afternoon that I went to see Aunty PohChoo when Anna told me her mom had a fall at home last night and would like to have me seeing her to examine if she's hurt in any hidden way - sprain etc.
Joie and I went to the office and she was lying in the reclining sofa resting. After checking I found she wasn't having any serious injury except some muscle shock and that can easily be fixed. So I took some time to help her with the pains and she is all fine to go out for lunch. 3 in the afternoon and they're yet to take their lunch (guess this is Asian/Malaysian style).
Just right before we went out, I walked up to Boddhisattva Avalokitesvara to pay respect. Even before I start to say any prayer I heard her telling me "don't worry".
I was a little shock because I haven't really said anything.
Anyway I wanted to seek her help to finding our house and I am so worried that we may not be having sufficient resources to get things done as it left only less than 2 months before our wedding.
So I prayed to her about my worries and I hear "you'll be fine".
Have faith I guess she is telling me. It reminds me about the experience of the trip I had to Daen Mahamongkol years ago.
It is always a red roofed small house with a chimney, 2 windows (sometimes with curtain) and a door. And then the picture is always accompanied by a sun, a few birds, tree, green grass and flower.
We all lived in a simple yet beautiful world. This little place that give us the warmth and comfort as well as safe feeling is still it's original little face in our heart.
We are about to have a place of our own, except we have not really found the right one yet.
So when will it come, my little cozy home?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Last night the cinema was crowded by people. Everyone came for a common reason - to see the world fall apart.
The best thing about cinema is the viewer/audience get to enjoy the effects, including sound and computer, of a big blockbuster.
Is the movie good? Nyeh....so so only.
We can't expect much. It has given us a lot. All the big disastrous scenes and the cheap emotion boosters - love, relationship, death.
Anything that you can think of.
The drawback is: the story is always the same old style.
So, no surprise.
Anyway, talk about the world coming to an end. I must admit the movie did give me a very helpless feeling. We can't do much about it. Not through our environmental awareness, neither by using shopping bag and not plastic bags. When the wave hit, astalla-vista babe.
Come to think of it: everything ends some way and some day. But knowing this mayan prophecy might probably come true not only in my lifetime but is actually 3 years ahead is definitely something.
That's why I am telling myself and practicing it everyday: live like you are going to die tomorrow, learn like you are living since today. Still do every bit I can to save the planet and cherish every way I can about this life of mine.
In case 2012 really bring the world to the end, please remember one thing: I thank you for being in my life in one way or another.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
But somehow I thought it isn't all that it takes to go on. Because persevere through ups and downs, yes - it means not giving up easily. But it isn't enough.
Joie and I went to one housing development site yesterday and we sat in the showing unit feeling the mood of owning a house of our own and the ambient of the place.
The very first feeling that came to us was: very comfortable.
And we start to thought to ourselves, "what does it take and how as well as when will we own a place like this?" And the thinking went on and on. We discussed about the qualities that we have inside us versus the things we're going through.
I told Joie, "last time I thought the key to be successful is intelligence, as I thought one can hardly go far without intelligence; then I realized it is connection instead because one with good network is better than having the brain; lately I come to understand that response is the core."
We might have the brain to think but we must too need a good spread of web to cover whatever is needed and most of all is the ability to respond accordingly without hesitance so that every incident and issue can be handled properly.
And I think it is like a progress as it grows only when we learn accordingly.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I mean there is still no sign of it and the date is getting nearer and nearer.
Have I surrender my fear? Yes I have.
Have I open myself to receiving? Yes I have.
Do I have the faith that it will be delivered to me? Err.... ya, but it is slowly getting thin.
And so I browse through my mailbox to read through the messages. And I saw this one:
When we are lost, we typically look at a map to figure out where we are and how to get to our chosen destination. This works well, assuming that there is a map of the territory in which we find ourselves, and assuming that we know our destination. However, this is not always the case. At this time in human history, we are all venturing into uncharted territory, whether we know it or not. And as individuals, we may find ourselves covering ground that our predecessors never even knew existed. When we look to them for guidance, they often come up short. Not knowing exactly where we are, we find ourselves unsure of which way to go, and eventually the uneasy feeling that we are lost presents itself.
The beauty of being lost is the same thing that makes it scary—it asks us to look within ourselves to find the way. If we have no map, we must go on instinct, relying on our inner compass to show us which way to go. This can be scary because so much seems to be riding on it. We fear we might go too far in the wrong direction, or become paralyzed and make no progress at all. And yet, this is the very challenge we need to develop our ability to trust ourselves. We are also learning to trust that the universe will support and guide us. We may believe this intellectually, but it is only through experience that it becomes knowledge of the heart. Learning to be okay with being lost and trusting that we will be guided, we begin our journey.
We can support ourselves by confirming that we don’t need to know exactly where we are going in order to take our first steps. We are learning to feel our own way, rather than following an established path, and in doing so we learn to trust ourselves. It is this trust that connects us to the universe and reminds us that no matter how lost we feel, and even as we journey, on the inner level we are already home.
And please, I really need it.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
We had a portrait shooting with 4 young girls who wanted to document their graduation year with some pretty pictures. And so we went to botanical garden for outdoor pictures and studio for indoor's. Just when we completed the day after having late lunch at Georgetown Coffee and they headed back home in Bukit Mertajam, something actually happened simultaneously, which we only get to know the following day.
There were 3 TAR college students who went to the waterfall in Perak to have fun were flushed away by the sudden rushing water and bodies where found later. One of them was the boyfriend of one of the young girls we took photos.
19 years old and the journey ended.
While there isn't much we could do as too much of concern and console are making the weight even more unbearable, I left a few words for her on her Facebook -
The reason life can be a place/platform for us to learn is because it is filled with uncertainties. We in each and every one of us have our true feelings hidden deep down in our heart. It is something we can never describe but to face and confront it truthfully. Shedding tears allow it to express itself without a single word but what matters is to embrace the days before it as we are done crying. Release the true feelings, and refill it with new strength. Really, life is not about it's length.
Death always give me a true impact about seeing this very fragile and uncertain thing called "LIFE". Like my brother said, "we just never know what comes next - death or tomorrow."
This journey is one hell of a trip that is filled with many beauties, including saperation, as it reminds us to cherish whatever we are having here and now.
Love yourself, love your life, and love the people around you for you never know if you ever see this world again the next sunrise.
Do not waste even a second to hate anyone or anything for life itself it big enough for you to explore and appreciate the depth of it.