Positively looking at things

Trauma and dilemma always make people feel down, and I am no exception from it too. But somehow I think quickly pick up the light is one way of chasing the shadow away. Not to say things immediately change, but at least the mood part can be saved. We will pull ourselves up faster once we aren't feeling continue drowning and drowning. So I guess I am looking for sun lately, not the type that burn and melt us down (at the mid day or 3 in the afternoon) but the energy and heat that keep my heart warm so that I can pull it through the dark and cold times.

Here, I brought light into the dark and shine the wet away.

(click on the photo to see the rest)

What a weekend

Had some fun by waking up 7am and play some jokes while capturing the energetic rising sun.

Cindy

Marvin

Haha, aren't they lovely?

To spend an evening with mom

Wanted to ask her out for dinner but she insisted on staying in. It's her birthday and dad's not in, what an eldest child of the house gotta do with it? I COOK.

At least that's all I can think of.

Made this simple meal. No big deal, but having to dine together on this special day is a bless. Garlic toast, mushroom cream, meat ball pasta and some Shiraz. She wore that lovely smiles on her face while eating.

And I have my smile right at the bottom of my heart.

Well, mission accomplished!

Doris is a Doris

This test is pretty interesting.
It has 2 questions only.
Answer them honestly and it'll tell you what's your name based on the choices you make.
Turns out I am a Doris.
So let's say my name suits me well.

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You Are a Doris!

You are a Doris -- " I must help others."
Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

* Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
* Share fun times with me.
* Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
* Let me know that I am important and special to you.
* Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

* Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
* Reassure me often that you love me.
* Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Doris

* being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
* knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
* being generous, caring, and warm
* being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
* being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Doris

* not being able to say no
* having low self-esteem
* feeling drained from overdoing for others
* not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
* criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
* being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
* working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Dorises as Children Often

* are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
* try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
* are outwardly compliant
* are popular or try to be popular with other children
* act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
* are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)

Dorises as Parents

* are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
* are often playful with their children
* wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
* can become fiercely protective

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Interested in the quiz? Try it out: HELLOQUIZZY

Home made meat porridge

There are different types of porridge. One is like rice in the soup, another is like cream soup where the grains are all cooked and melted, and one more is like this one - a bit sticky.

My mom used to call the third type TeowChew porridge.

Minced pork and diced carrot cooked in porridge and garnish with spring onions and fried garlic oil. The weather's been bad, and many people fall sick. I am not feeling very well too, so I make this nutritious meal to recharge my body hoping it to gain the antibody against the flu bugs.


This is my work. Want some?

It's the end of the year

Year end's approaching. It could mean another new beginning isn't very far away; or to some people it brings a huge thing - SHOPPING!

Ahh.....don't worry, I'm not that shopping kaki, although I'd enjoy spending too if I can. so this post isn't about the big bags of hunting.

It isn't my purpose here today.

October is finishing, a good friend is planning to pay me a visit during the mid of next month and another buddy that we always call each other FUCK (it means "friend you can keep") will come see me in December.

Now, people come and go isn't a big deal. It's a flow, which we call "natural". The thing is how we actually cherish the time we have together? Friendship grows over time, having "tolerance, respect, understanding" as the very key ingredients, and we preserve it with the warmth of our heart and faith.

Happy happy!

Being in charge but not the visible leader

"Behind every successful person is a successful assistant. You don't have to be the group leader to be in charge, especially if the group leader is looking to you for answers. It's a variation on many themes."

Hmm, this is interesting...

Goal driven and focus

Me and him had a talk this morning. We were talking about PERFORMING ON STAGE. Yep, that's what we like to do and how we met each other. Dance is in his blood, just like drama is to mine. It is our another way of talking to one another - movements relate us. There is no doubt we love that place where lime light help make our effort visible to audience. We love how we put forward our effort throughout the rehearsals and practice, and gain that contentment and recognition.

However, the focus shifted. It isn't so that our interest's changed, rather there're other stuff come up and become a bigger picture. Let's say that place isn't going to give us a living, thus we need to make our own path. We've made the choice and making the attempt to work along the way to get where we intend to be.

By all means, we cannot afford to get distracted. We know deep down our heart the passion for performing arts is residing and shall never fade, but we are now shaping our life by dedicating ourselves into building our future. We do keep that piece of us alive, except we are now paying attention on something that will help and allow us to come back to it later.

Where the heart rests

Sometimes, when one have worked very far to reach goals and achieve dreams, will always feel the need to have one end to be anchored down in order to feel safe. Most of the time, support and energy come from here. Although there are times when disagreement will make one another slam the door or even shed tears, but they always remain at the very special place in our heart. A place that we know no one else will ever take over.

They are, family.

I might have been very defiant, but still there is no place like home.

from left: Joie, myself, Marvin (younger brother), John (youngest brother), mom & dad, taken on 4th Oct 2008

Head ran blank

I knew I have something to say, because I had this very very short memory in my mind that keeps telling me, "write in my blog about it". But weirdest thing is when I sat down and preparing myself for the writing, the brain gone blank.

"What was I trying to write?"

I can't really remember already.

Age catching up? PLEASE DON'T!

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Anyway, just write something.
Anything.

Maybe "Ghost Whisperer".
I am only following the episodes in Season 2 when everyone in the States is chasing the forth season (SLOW ME). Well, it's ok. It's got to be enjoyable if one would to really go into series .

So I am here to announce that I've never watch SEX & THE CITY (so what?), have accidentally seen DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES on AXN (or something) when I was jumping between channels on the tv. Not to mention CSI (or the series of different CSI), 24 and bla bla bla (how can I follow everything? I'm so not the tv type of person).

(gone too far, am suppose to talk about Ghost Whisperer). So this sentimental yet interesting series (produced by the lead actress - Jennifer Love Hewitt) really is something. Although not much of twists and turns like HEROES (which I am following really up-to-date), it has it's own beauty - spared quite some room for me to really see things from a different perspective. Unlike the scary tales, every spirit have some real lesson to learn (so do we) through the life one has on earth. Unfinished business isn't all about accomplishing business only (ignore me if too complicated it sounds). Take a moment and really listen to one another. You'd be surprise how you've lived your life so centred and forgot about people around.



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I'll come back once I remember what I was so keen to tell.

Food

Make it simple: food lover (which happens to be me) just had a great dinner - DUMPLING!

I love dumpling? Well, basically I love food so I love anything if it's nice (please, this exclude something no so common i.e. scorpion, lizard etc). Chinese food is full of excitement. You can one day have rice (with many many many types of dishes), another day of noodles (with different different types of soup or ways of cooking it), or simply eat dumplings (like I did)!





Looks nice? Photo captured by Joie. Wonder where to get this? Answer: My house. YEP, I made these!!! (c'mon let me hear a round of applause......tink you....tink you)

Persistence

I just read an article about this title. Surprised me to learn there are 3 types of persistence. As it says, "BLIND PERSISTENCE; RANDOM PERSISTENCE; PLANNED PERSISTENCE". Now these terms really come into my head and make that "bang" loud sound.

It means, "Being persistent isn't enough. You've got to know which type of it that you're applying." Blindly persisting sound stupid; randomly persist seemed lame; planned persistence looked powerful" (who want to be stupid or lame?).

Now, does having an organized mind help in being POWERFULLY PLANNED? I think mastering the will is about it. Plans are made to help us achieve goals not making us stiff or inflexible, isn't it? Otherwise it is rather known as (the very popular) STUBBORN.

Can find the thin line between PERSISTENCE and STUBBORN?

(1) Decide on your goal and stick with it.

(2) Understand that to achieve your goal you need to use 'planned persistence' which involves carefully planned experimentation.

(3) Create a written plan of action of things to try.

(4) Try different techniques and monitor your results carefully.

(5) Discard what doesn't work and move on to your next experiment until you find the combination that unlocks your dreams.

(to find out more about reading, please visit: http://www.anthonyfernando.com/2007/09/27/the-truth-about-persistence/)

Dr. Randy Pausch

It was months ago when I first heard about this professor. Watched the video of his last lecture over Youtube and bookmarked it to be one of my favorite inspirations. Ever since I come to realize that life isn't about the length but width, I have another different view about it. Cherish every moment becomes a part that really being taken seriously. Whether to play or get along with people around, I had myself taking things as if they are going to be my last moment (this is no pessimistic, not at all).

Today I browse through one of these inspirational sites and found out that Dr. Pausch has passed away.

I sure missed him, and his teaching.

Here to share...

Being positive......

We may easily hit rocks down the road of life. Sometimes we meet the obstacles until we feel so down and lost and really don't know where and how to go on. We pause and pause and feel so bad like we lose all hope and faith to move on.

But somehow we have to face things head up.

It's like we have already come this far, we've passed the hurdles behind us for so long and we shouldn't be losing everything just because of another hick up. Isn't it?

Of course at times we feel so desperate and stress and tensed and really want a break. But I always tell myself that life is trying to teach me something called "wisdom". This is something we earn by showing our hidden potential inside when we are in the face of fear and lose.

So I say to myself, "face it, head on and ask if I have done my best".

Just hang in there, everything's gonna be alright.

Drink -> Drink -> Party -> CHAN SAI

First, it was another last Saturday. Went to this SUNSET BISTRO in Batu Ferringhi for AngMo herbal tea. Haven't been really drinking for years, and that night really had a lot of fun. 3 bottles only, totally cukup for me to sleep real well. Momo tend to say I get drunk easily because I lack of practice. Of course, I am not a drinker and I don't intend to become one, tentu-lah I never practice this. Anyway, it was fun because the breeze, and the place was nice and comfortable (and they have a very nicely decorated ladies).

Took a day break, goes another night of drink. From H*ineken to ROARING striped cat. Ok ok, behave already. 2 to 3 small cups is enough (*I was practically overwhelmed by that David Tao's song sung by him). (~la la la la la la la la)

Photo shooting in the afternoon of the previous Saturday and followed by partying in a fairly boring club.

To summarize everything - REALLY CHUAN.

What I love most? A bit of everything (coz I am not an extremist ma), but still love the photo session more (if I weren't all alone without a camera of my own).

sweetie ShirMein

coolie John

Feelings are telling stories

Only a wee bit while after I undergone the emotional trauma, I realised that analytical mind requires some space to let feelings breath because the latter speak better and more accurate. Of course I admit that these feelings need sense to organise else it'll all jumble up.

So I call them "complimenting each other". Which is rather true as this can be found on myself and him.

Heart speaks the real and true words.

He said I am expressive, that I can tell whatever I want to tell.

What do you think?

Everyone's a hero

We make life different in every possible way we can. Thus we might be ordinary people with no extra gift of flying or teleporting etc, but each and every one of us carry one powerful energy to make this world a better place. I agree with what being said in this episode that I watched last night, "one man cannot save the world, it is everybody's responsibility".

Ever heard of this saying by Mother Teresa, "we can do no great things, only small things with great love"?

It is the love that we have and the compassion that we carry that is important.

So, show me some love, let's hug! (I always love this session)

Spending quality time with love ones

Earning for living is inevitable, because putting food on the table is everyone's concern (I don't have a gold mine of my own ma; need to work to dig them out too even if i do). But the most valuable thing in the world is to spend time with love ones. Having meal together on the very same table is somehow a tradition everywhere. Thoughts and laughter are easily found on the very same table of eating time (so please take the harsh words to somewhere else afterward if really have some fire burning inside, don't spoil the good mood).

I am the family kind of person. We love each other very much (until we sampai go clubbing together). Some may not think this is cool, because fun time are usually spent with own gang instead of those that you've fought over toy or anything throughout the lifetime. Yet, maybe it is the very same date of birth (or the very next day) that create the chemistry among us three, had our birthday together last week.

It's quite interesting and proud when we get to introduce, " this is my brother; this is my sister" and followed with "we share the same birthday (only different in years)".

Isn't it awesome? Not so much than we share our very strong bond together.

How often do you still see a 30 over year old mess around with the brothers who are actually 4 and 8 years in different? We still do it, till now...

aren't we blessed?

Quietly set my foot here

Moving from MSN to WRETCH, then multiply and then udn. There is still no place for me to really make me feel that I can set my feelings in, although I have enjoyed writing at those different places from time to time.

I am not particularly the sentimental type of person. But I like the way that expression can be kept in one comfortable place and it simply seaps into the veins whenever the mood rises. More like reading, because it is the space in heart and mind allows me to breath freely.

Sharing thoughts is partly meant to release the energy inside. What matter most is whether people can find that bridge through these words to enter and listen to the beating.

Started off years ago with english and then to chinese, now back in english again. I guess it isn't what language, but how I tell, really matter.

Journey begins here....